M&StL Tidbits

Albert L Route Incog.

The following is from an M&StL travel booklet from the 19th century. On the cover is the following: Albert L Route Incog. Personal. It has 10 pages not counting the cover. Several scenic pictures are included. Thank you Dennis Holmes for typing this for all of us to enjoy!

Albert L Route Incog.

Incog. A merry old man--that is not old, but still having passed what may be said to be the years of accountability, and a few years of respectability. I am Incog. Having so appeared, I can with reluctance give you a few abbreviated ideas of my personality, and not reflect too strongly upon the fine feelings of my family connections.

My highly respected relations are not unconcerned of my undertaking, and the opportunities thereby afforded of some time unveiling my identity, and should I be discovered would doubtless suffer untold agonies of chagrin. However, I am Incog, and shall for the time being enjoy the "seclusion which the cabin grants."

I was born since the forties, therefore you see I cannot be more than fifty-three years old, and yet I might be less; am rather tall, of medium weight, have a high forehead, auburn hair (rather dark) and eyes like my mother's. I sometimes wear a beard, most always a moustache and seldom am without a smooth face.

I have three false teeth, one in the upper maxillary and the other two south of it. They are of a superior quality of artificiality and have cost me a pretty penny, yet I do not regret the investment. Teeth are almost necessary in my business--that is, eating, traveling and occasionally talking. Of course, one could travel without teeth, but then they "cut some ice," you know, especially when it comes to cold drinks.

I try to wear respectable clothing, keeping within speaking distance of the styles. My trousers never bag at the knee--that is, when I am Incog--and as I am now Incog they are always perpendicular. Shoes are a bugbear. I would never be known by my shoes, for I wear all kinds, from a light opera to a triple cork sole, and without reference to "rights and lefts". I do this for economy sake, so they will not run down at the heel. Yet, I have no special reason to economize in that particular; still one must make some show of watching the corners, and that seems to be my hobby.

I have been spending my summer in Minnesota, at the lakes and summer resorts, the interesting cities of St Paul and Minneapolis, and it is needless to say, have had a delightful time. I am now going south, Incog, for the winter, and will divide my time betweeen the Southern States, Hot Springs, Ark., Old Mexico and California. The trip, from the experience of my friends, I know will be a pleasant. one. The route I have selected with especial care, after examining most minutely the folders, guides circulars and rates of all the lines entering the Twin Cities, as well as holding several carnivals with agents, General and otherwise, of the various lines. They have begun to know me--that is, they know my "cog"--but are courteous and solicitous just the same, and without intermittance.

Yes I have chosen the Albert Lea Route". It is, without question, the finest line to St Louis; runs to that city in less than twenty hours from St. Paul and runs directly into the Union Depot at St. Louis, connecting closely with southern trains. Then, too, they run a "diner", elegant sleepers, and are, in fact strictly in it. They are getting the business, too. I notice the bulk of southern and western tourist business going via the M&StL. If one were going all the way be daylight he would see many beaufiful and historic places.

You may know what they are--such as Albert Lea, which is itself a watering place of considerable note. It is situated on a beautiful lake, which bears the same name and in which many "gamey" fish are known to reside. Here, also, is the Junction of the Burlington, Cedar Rapids, & Northern Railway, which with the St. Louis, Keokuk and North-Western, reached at Burlington, forms the triple link, and makes the "Albert Lea route", Short Line, to St. Louis. Leaving Albert Lea you pass through Cedar Falls, Cedar Rapids, West Liberty and a number of other clean, enterprising Iowa towns before being carried away from Burlington by the St. Louis, Keokuk, & North-Western Railroad.

This latter city is one of 30,000 people, situated on Twin Hills, and overlooking the king of great rivers, the Mississippi. The route then passes through Keokuk, Ia., following the river and touching Quincy, Hannibal, Louisiana, Clarksville, St. Peters, Mo., and many intermediate smaller towns before reaching St. Louis. I have learned, incidentally, that at St. Louis the elite, and indeed the generality of people, don't drink water--not because they don't like water, nor either that they like something else better, but because the water has a color and certain ingredients which closely resemble mud. I am anxious to try it--I mean the beverage they substitute for acqua pura. I have heard a number of times, and read too, of the great factories there which turn out malt, and have wondered if that is where the maltese kittens grow.

St. Louis is a diverging point. I have scarcely decided which line I will take from there. If you are going south you can take the Ohio & Mississippi, or the L&N, or the Mobile & Ohio, and several others. If you are going to Hot Springs, the "Iron Mountain", and if you want to go to Old California, there is a half dozen first-class lines that take you through in a hurry and give you every comfort that could be wished for. As I have a number of time cards that show the through car service and different kinds of cars, and have just tacked them onto the end of this "ramble" so you can use them if desired.

Minnesota is, without doubt, the place to spend summer and early fall, but there are reasons why I prefer to go south with the birdies as the leaves begin to turn. I have rather a peculiar constitution inside of me, and perhaps a little dyspepsia, and so I am just as well satisfied, as long as I can travel Incog, to see the country and quiet my nervous debility by change of scenes and where overcoats are used as a luxury rather than a necessity.

I have met many entertaining and pleasant people here and made lasting friendships. I must not leave off without thanking the agents of the Minneapolis and St. Louis Railway, for the kind offices they have performed for me, for they have borne with me in my exacting queries and always with satisfactory information. If I can be of any service, Incog, to my friends, you will always know where to find me and may please just drop a line to Sincerely yours. Albert L. Route.

A timetable for the St Louis Special Nos 5&6 is included. It indicates that Pullman Palace Sleepers and Dining Cars are being used. No. 6 departed St. Paul at 6:45 p.m. and arrived St. Louis at 3:45 p.m. W.H. Truesdale was Receiver and C.M. Pratt was GT&PA. An 1885 TT shows trains 1&2, 3&4 between St. Paul and St. Louis.